I HATE BOY
did you know that whenever i see a cute boy i drop something? often it is my skateboard or my wallet, which has a giant picture of valter torsleff on it, by the way. i go, “oh gosh, sorry,” and as i lean over to pick it up something else falls down. i think that if this travesty were asking me for directions i would not only loudly drop my skateboard into the street, getting it immediately blast into smithereens by a semi truck that says GUS IS DUMB, and my wallet, upside down, dumping out all my cards and especially the ugliest ID photo of my life, and maybe my pants, revealing really sad underpants with iCarly on them or something, but my whole bag, probably spilling out a bunch of barbie dolls and 100 glossy pictures of Benjamin himself,

did you know that whenever i see a cute boy i drop something? often it is my skateboard or my wallet, which has a giant picture of valter torsleff on it, by the way. i go, “oh gosh, sorry,” and as i lean over to pick it up something else falls down. i think that if this travesty were asking me for directions i would not only loudly drop my skateboard into the street, getting it immediately blast into smithereens by a semi truck that says GUS IS DUMB, and my wallet, upside down, dumping out all my cards and especially the ugliest ID photo of my life, and maybe my pants, revealing really sad underpants with iCarly on them or something, but my whole bag, probably spilling out a bunch of barbie dolls and 100 glossy pictures of Benjamin himself,

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    Benjamin Jarvis